The Practice of Happiness (by a native pessimist)

Being a fundamentally unhappy person has been central to my identity for as long as I can remember. As a child, I would experience bouts of sadness for no reason (I was raised in a comfortable environment by caring and supportive parents) and these bouts continued, peaking in intensity in my late teenage years and early adulthood, at times significantly affecting my personal and professional functioning.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to manage this tendency to depressive thinking in a variety of ways to minimise its impact in my life, and I was startled to realise the other day that I think I (might just maybe) now see myself as a basically happy person.

In the same way that I have an old shoulder injury, but I still see myself as a basically healthy person.

I think the stigma around mental illness comes, in part, from a deterministic perspective about the relationship between the biological nature of these struggles and the likelihood of recovery. It is a surprisingly common belief that, because there is a neurobiological signature for these challenges, the causes are exclusively biological and the solutions must also be biochemical and ongoing, because one’s biology is fixed. Given what we now know about the incredible plasticity of the adult brain, instead of seeing diagnostic lines as black and white (you either “have” depression or you don’t), it is more accurate to think of all psychiatric symptoms as malleable and on a continuum.

I have found it helpful to think of my tendency to depressive/pessimistic thinking as an old injury similar to my wonky shoulder - it probably won’t ever heal completely, but can be managed in a way that its impact on my normal activities is minimal (since, in my case, it is a mild to moderate injury). To prevent aggravating this mental tendency, there are various measures I have put in place – these include getting outside every day, movement, music, avoiding overstimulating settings (e.g. malls), and immersing myself in content with a positive psychology mindset (a focus on increasing psychological health rather than decreasing psychological pathology).

Some resources that I have found useful in the development of my practice of happiness include the following:

Martin Seligman’s PERMA model of well-being – As Seligman points out in this video, positive psychology should not be seen as a “happy-ology.” Increased positive emotion alone is not sufficient for psychological well-being (after all, mania is an instance of positive emotion run amok). Seligman’s model identifies five areas of importance in well-being:

• Positive emotion

• Engagement

• Relationships

• Meaning

• Accomplishment

Seligman notes that the propensity to positive affect is largely (~50%) genetically determined, but those of us who are not naturally cheerful (apparently this includes him) can still improve their well-being through certain practices (he outlines a few in the video).

As a native pessimist, I can’t help pointing out Seligman’s observation (in his book Learned Optimism) that pessimism is more realistic than optimism. However, optimism still keeps you alive longer… and happier.

The Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley publishes research-backed content in the areas of positive psychology and social and emotional well-being. You can find various practices (including citations to the research supporting them) at Greater Good in Action.

My favourite practice from this site is “Three Good Things” in which you think of three good things that happened that day (this is also referenced in Seligman’s video above). Adapted into a verbal practice in which I say the three things out loud to someone, often my child, I have found it extremely easy to integrate into daily life. I even caught myself texting to someone a small good thing that happened today. I have also found it avoids the pitfall that gratitude practices lead my particular mind to, which is “If I’m so lucky, something must be really wrong with me if I’m not happy!”

Any of these practices are easier to implement and maintain when we are feeling well, just like any other habit of self-care. For some people, medication is a necessary and beneficial tool to use alongside these practices. As positive emotion is increased during and immediately after many of these exercises, you might find them to be more reinforcing and therefore not as difficult to adhere to as some other good habits (like eating vegetables instead of sweets). Once they are routine, they can provide support and improve your resilience at more trying times.

If you find a practice you like, please let me know!